Olympics

Hey, sorry I haven't written in so long. I think about it, and then if I don't write it down, I don't seem to remember. You should see the amount of post-it notes I put in recycling per week. Thank goodness some things are somewhat involuntary, for example, wiping, breathing, sleeping and eating, otherwise I would be a shitty, breathless, insomniatic anorexic. I have been watching the Olympic games in Vancouver the past week. I was in high school and lived 9 miles from Lake Placid in 1980. The thrill of it all comes back to me every four years regardless of what region of the world the Olympics are taking place. I admire the athletes,resent Bob Costas, and like all competitions, admire those who give it their all regardless of the outcome. I was that athlete in some respects, but in others I put myself ahead of my team. In hindsight I see how I put my aspirations first. An Alex Rodriguez without the talent. I would play so hard expecting to win and when we didn't I became resentful and not communicate. I never learned how to. I was extremely immature and when I watch some of these sports I can see myself in so many others. The irony is that I have all that knowledge and now my body can't produce the kind of athletisism I once had. A real winner is someone who has both the humility to know that you can't always win and that if you give it everything you have, that is good enough.

2010

I haven't written in a long time. Oh yeah, Happy New Year. That seems like that happened at least a year ago. Time flies when you're living huh? This month has seen some good changes in the business and I'm doing some of the things I envisioned when I started. It's not easy and the key I believe is perserverance. I couldn't have kept it running without the help of others contributing their business savvy and experience. This is an opportunity to thank you. As an aside, Brown, Brown (the stray) is thriving and marking her territory. That makes two of us.

Tiger

How long does it really take to know someone? It's a very valid question and based on this particular gentlemen, it's a reminder that we are all human. I never would have guessed it. Those who trusted Bernie Madoff never would have thought someone would have the kahunas' to do such a thing. The "pedestal" effect is a killer for so many. To think someone is super human, beyond reproach, and just a good guy is not true. It's actually quite impossible. I am even disillusioned about our current President. He promised so much, has returned so little and looks like a wolf in white/black sheeps' clothing. C'mon, that was kind of funny. I always want to remain hopeful. I would like to believe that integrity outweighs any personal gain. I like to dream about peace, serenity and happiness, but the norm is insanity and that feeling of being just a little bit superior to someone hit so hard like Tiger. Yes, he is responsible for his mistake and will have dire consequences. The man fucked up and we thought we knew him. How long did it take for people to figure out that Rome was fallling?

Reflection

My mother called today and said, "I was just thinking about you and what a good girl you are". I burst out laughing and responded with, "You couldn't always say that huh Mom"? There was a time when I was the blackest of the sheep, the baddest of the seeds, satans spawn and the problem child. I knew it and so did everyone else. I dealt with addiction, homelessness, mental illness, violence and very low self-esteem, but then I ask myself, "Who hasn't"? I don't think I'm unique or special because I am aware of the possibility of repeating my own history. What I do know is that I appreciate what I have received in this second life and give thanks to those who stuck by me despite my problems, seeds and undying love for Satan.

Mother Of Invention

I recall the day my sister got a cell phone and how I warned her about radiation, brain tumors and other deadly carriers that the phone may produce. That was in 1998. Here it is 12 years later and I couldn't disagree more. How did I come to this conclusion? I lost the damn thing for a 48 hour period and any fried out memory loss was inconsequential compared to the desperation of finding my beloved Google phone. It had ALL of my numbers, pictures, email info, codes, notes, and a special ring tone for my favorite people and it was GONE. I remember where I used it last, recounted the steps, blamed a cat, cursed the Lord's name, and eventually gave up. My "special" friend offered to help find it, so we retraced, back tracked, and she could not find it either until I called my phone again. I did it alone the day before, but when I did it with her we could both hear something humming. We checked cushions, stripped the Xmas tree of its skirt, checked the cats parts and dialed again. She looked to her left and there it was, my beautiful, dangerous, cancer causing phone camouflaged on the back of a black chair. It brought tears to my eyes.

Stray Part Tooie

Here is the follow-up to the stray cat strut story. Brown-brown is the official name of the baby cat that Annie saved. She is also known as Brownie, B-Rownie and what can Brown do for you today? In the earlier post I said I didn't know what gender the little thing was, but it turns out that she is a girl. We brought her to the Vet and she was sooooo good. At first he thought she was pregnant because her abdomen was so big. It's great to know you have a whore as a new cat. She is cute, damn cute, but Annie and I didn't want her to have kitties. The doc also couldn't tell if she was spade, so he had to shave her to see her parts. She went limp whenever the doc or assistant picked her up and had this humble look like, "do what you have to do, but could you hurry it up.... please"? At one point, one of the assistants came in and said, "Is this your scared cat"? We got a second opinion from another doc that she was spade, without child, and she was probably five years old. She received her shots, had her little blood drawn, and utlimately got a clean bill of health. We were relieved new parents and brought home a healthy five year old baby girl for only $270.

Anecdote

Yesterday I had to scrape the ice off of my truck, warm it up and drive quite slow due to the "black ice" reported on the news. BTW-the term black ice is racist. How bout just "ice, ice, baby? Is "white ice" a desert? Who the hell decided it was black? It just doesn't make sense except to a dude like Jesse Helms. Anywhoo, I live in Seattle, Washington and upon my journey to drive on I-5, I looked around and saw frosty rooftops, a lightly falling snow and cars exhibiting exhausting pipes. I said to my shivering passenger, "I feel like I'm in Pennsylvania". She said,"yes it's true, although I've never been there before".